Marrying a Non-Muslim Male
I am wondering if you will be able to
give me some advice on a problem of mine. I live in the
However, I do not want to commit anything
that is against Islam. Why is it okay for men to marry
Christian women yet Muslim women are not allowed to marry Christian men? That
is what my parents have told me. I don't know what to do. Can you please give
me some assistance?
Name of Mufti Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi
Content of Reply In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most
Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be
upon His Messenger.
Dear questioner, thank you very much for having confidence in us,
and we hope our efforts, which are purely for His Sake, meet your expectations.
In his response to the question in point, Dr. Muzammil
Siddiqi, former president of the Islamic Society of
“The issue of friendship here has nothing to do with being Muslim
or non-Muslim. You should not have taken Muslim or non-Muslim males as your
friends. The Qur’an and the Sunnah
have given us rules about relations between men and women.
There are two types of people: Mahram
and non-Mahram. Mahram are
those relatives between whom marriage is not allowed. Non-Mahram
are those among whom marriage is permissible.
Referring to this, Allah Almighty says: “ Forbidden unto you are your mothers,
and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father's sisters, and your
mother's sisters, and your brother's daughters and your sister's daughters, and
your foster mothers, and your foster sisters, and your mothers-in-law, and your
stepdaughters who are under your protection (born) of your women unto whom ye
have gone in but if ye have not gone in unto them, then it is no sin for you (to
marry their daughters) and the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own
loins. And (it is forbidden unto you) that ye should have two sisters together,
except what hath already happened (of that nature) in the past. Lo! Allah is
ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (An-Nisaa’: 23)
Muslim men and women can socialize among the Mahrams,
but not among the non-Mahrams. When men and women are
in the presence of non-Mahrams then they must lower
their gaze. Allah Almighty says: “And tell the believing women to lower their
gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is
apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their
adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands fathers, or their
sons or their husbands' sons, or their brothers or their brothers' sons or
sisters sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack
vigor, or children who know naught of women's nakedness. And let them not stamp
their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto
Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed. And marry such of
you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and maid servants. If they be
poor; Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware.”
(An-Nur: 30-31)
He Almighty also says: “O ye wives of the Prophet! Ye are not like
any other women. If ye keep your duty (to Allah), then be not soft of speech,
lest he in whose heart is a disease aspire (to you), but utter customary
speech.” (Al-Ahzab: 32)
Hence it is clear that Islam does not allow Muslims to have
friends from the opposite gender. Males should not have female friends and
females should not have male friends. Non-Mahram
males and females may talk to each other, but should not socialize or go out in
parties.
A single male and female should never be together in a place where
they are all alone, isolated without the access of any one else. Islam has
given these rules to save men and women from committing sin or getting involved
in situations where they might commit sin.
As far as the interfaith marriages are concerned, Islam does not
encourage them. The general rule of Islam is that Muslims should marry Muslims.
A Muslim male or female should not marry a non-Muslim male or female. Allah
Almighty says: “ Wed not idolatresses till they
believe; for lo! a believing bondwoman is better than
an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to
idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave
is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire,
and Allah inviteth unto the Garden,
and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expoundeth
thus His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.” (Al-Baqarah: 221)
The only exception is given to Muslim men who are allowed to marry
the girls from among the People of the Book. Allah Almighty says: “This day are
(all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the
Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the
virtuous women of the believers and the virtuous women of those who received
the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage
portions and live with them in honor, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret
concubines. Whoso denieth the faith, his work is vain
and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.” (Al-Ma’dah:
5)
For the satisfaction of your heart, let me explain why Muslim men
are allowed to marry women from among the People of the Book and why Muslim
women are not allowed to do so.
First of all, it is not an honor or a privilege to marry a
non-Muslim. It is a burden and a big responsibility. It is better to abstain
from such marriages. Muslim men who are living in non-Muslim countries in
particular should not marry non-Muslim women. However, man being the head of
his household is more capable to handle the needs and problems of his
non-Muslim (Christian or Jewish) wife. Muslims believe that Moses and Jesus,
peace and blessings be upon them all, were Prophets of Allah and so they give
them full honor and respect.
Jews and Christians do not consider Prophet Muhammad, peace and
blessings be upon him, as the Prophet of Allah. Thus
they are unable to give the same respect and honor to him and to his followers.
A Jewish or Christian woman with a Muslim husband will be in a much better
position than a Muslim woman with a Jewish or a Christian husband. Even then,
there are many non-Muslim women who married outside their faith say that they
wish their religion too had forbidden them, because they know how difficult and
hard it is to be the wife of a husband who has a different faith.
A Muslim woman should know that Allah has really honored her and
made it easy for her by not allowing her to marry a non-Muslim man.
According to the Qur'an, the husband is
the head of the household and his wife should obey him. Allah does not put the
Muslim woman in a position that a non-Muslim becomes her head in her own
private life. Allah has spared her to suffer from being under the authority of
a non-Muslim husband.
Please abandon the idea of marrying a non-Muslim, unless he truly
accepts Islam. If you marry a non-Muslim, this will be a major sin. You will be
living in sin and your relationship with that non-Muslim will be illegitimate
in the eyes of Allah. May Allah protect you from all sins, Amen.”
If you have any further comments, please don't hesitate to write
back!
Allah Almighty knows best.